While the Cat’s Away…

This past week I was on a business trip to Northwest Florida, my second home. Since I have various social media “alerts” set up to monitor every client, including my most reluctant client Dave Dorman, I caught this Twitter comment and I cracked up:

Wife #3?

Could this be Wife #3?

So naturally, my inner smart ass couldn’t let this go without piling on:

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Fortunately, BGF Central is graciously good-natured: 

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And @BGFCentral’s creative new hashtag cracked me up even more: #AwkwardEncounterWithWifeIDidNotKnowExisted

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And so my comments unwittingly became a thread on comics website, Bleeding Cool News:

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And so BGF Central has become a Sister Wife to me (and I’m not even fundamentalist Mormon!) and she already has a “Honey Do List” started! 

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I wish BGF Central great luck with that! During the first term of the Dubya Administration, I started one of those. Cut to a calendar on the wall, months peeling away in rapid succession…massive amounts of time elapsing…and here we are today. Mission Unaccomplished.

The day I realized there could never be world peace was the same day I realized Dave and I would never agree on how to load the dishwasher. Or the day Dave and I got into a huge argument about where to put his dad’s water distiller, because we cannot communicate. What Dave refers to as “the washroom,” I call the “laundry room.” (Where I’m from, washroom and bathroom are interchangeable terms.) Or the day I realized I would never cook anything that Dave would ever eat (he’s anti-fruit, anti-vegetables, anti-meatloaf & anti-casserole). And then there’s our body clocks. His is geared to being up all night; he MMPORG games on Star Wars: The Old Republic Purge Guild from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. nightly. When he finally comes to bed, I’m post-REM, in my lightest sleep cycle. More often than not, it awakens me for the rest of the night, and I’m ready to strangle him as he snores away, blissfully unaware. My body clock likes to get up about three hours after he goes to sleep. (My clients and friends often wonder why they get emails at 3 a.m. Now they know.)

Paula Abdul was right about one thing: We come together ’cause opposites attract.