Got Hollywood Sanctimony Fatigue Yet? Just Wait.

I’m a far-removed creative in the Midwest, so when even I have heard about Weinstein’s smarmy exploits, I cannot and will not buy it that others in the industry have not, also. For one thing, women talk. We have a stealthy sisterhood warning system. It goes something like this: We get up from the table at the restaurant, go the restroom in pairs and compare notes. “Don’t ever get alone with that guy,” or “I’ve heard he only likes it (insert the most disgusting, kinky fetish here).” And from there, we phone or text our separate tribes. And that’s how word spreads. If someone’s husband or boyfriend is skeevy, trust me, he’s fooling no one. We already know it.

I feel anger and compassion for every one of those women — and men — and underage children –who were abused at the hands of powerful Hollywood moguls, but then again, I feel that way about anyone who is abused in any way by someone in power. The difference is, the ones I know personally are left to pick up the pieces minus the SAG/AFTRA medical benefits, Hollywood paychecks, fame and gold-coast lifestyles.

This was, as Malcolm Gladwell so eloquently coined the phrase, the TIPPING POINT. In the next little while, you will see every long-repressed harassment situation splashed across the National Enquirer, TMZ and beyond. Those who wish to stay relevant will defend Weinstein, because to them, at least they’re still getting column inches. From afar, we’re witnessing the Hollywood snake eating itself.

So I’m told Mr. Weinstein has jetted off to Europe. Here’s how I imagine it went down: 

POV: We are looking over the broad shoulder of a Hollywood power broker, watching his fat, stubby, hairy fingers dialing an iPhone. The light reflects on his pinkie ring.

Cuts to: Split screen of two men talking — Weinstein on left, Sir Richard Branson on right.

Weinstein: Hey, Richard, any chance you can put me up until things cool down?

Branson: No man, you’re too hot right now. And I’m still cleaning up Neckers from the hurricane.

Weinstein: But I clearly recall Princess Diana complaining about you trying to get into her pants.

Branson: Don’t drag me into your shit storm — give Polanski a call!

Hangs up. Sausage fingers places the next call.

Weinstein: Hey Roman, wanna be roommates?

Polanski: Sure! Come on over! I’ll send a jet for you.

Weinstein: No need. Mine’s gassed up and ready to go.

Polanski: Ooh, I’ve got a fun idea! Let’s call Jeffrey Epstein and see if he can fly us both down for some entertainment…wink, wink…

Weinstein: Okay, but I don’t want Bill Clinton or Prince Andrew’s sloppy seconds…

************************************************************************

So…some friends and I were just playing the “Let’s rename Weinstein’s new company” game online. The winner? Touchbone Pictures.

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Talking TAKIs

In an emergency grocery store run this a.m. since we were out of eggs on Dave’s birthday (D’oh!), Dave Dorman made the mistake of taking Jack, which always means a 40% higher bill at the checkout line. In addition to the eight taffy apples and chocolate chip Lego waffles they returned with (NOT on the list), Jack procured this:

Guacamole TAKIs, meant to be savored, just not smelled.

For those of you who have never partaken in TAKIs, you’re not alone. They appeared on my radar about six months ago. They’re the rage of this YouTube generation — a super-compressed taco chip, saturated in flavor dust, shaped like a rolled Dorito doobie–by design, I’m sure. This morning, Jack couldn’t find his regular-flavored TAKIs, so he brought home the guacamole flavor. In theory, it sounds good, but…Jack opened the bag and we each took turns taking a whiff. It took a leviathan amount of cajoling to convince Dave to join in, but he eventually caved because Jack has the master persuasion skills of a Harvard law professor. Here are the Dorman Family’s Top 4 Guacamole-Flavored TAKI Smell Descriptions.

(Your results may vary.)

  1. Rotting corn field (Dave)
  2. Lawn Clippings-flavored Jelly Belly (Jack)
  3. Dead Bugs on the Windshield (Denise)
  4. Dead Box Elder or Lightning Bugs (also Denise)

Despite the funky smell, they actually tasted pretty good, but Jack still favors the original flavor. I favor the “original,” too…as in: DORITOS.

For fans of Stephen King’s IT and Pennywise the Clown, Dave did a pencil illustration of Pennywise the Clown yesterday on Facebook Live. Here’s a link to that footage for your viewing pleasure:

https://www.facebook.com/DaveDormanArtist/videos/10159276116220063/

You’ll hear Dave responding to questions posted by those watching him, which is often enlightening commentary about comics, entertainment and publishing. If you do a search, he’s done several other demonstration painting and illustration art videos that have been well received — follow him on Twitter @DaveDorman and you’ll see him post links to those videos as they occur.

A #ComicBook #Artist #Illustrator and #Marine Friend in Need: Clifford Van Meter

Our friend CliffordVan Meter needs our help…

Dave Dorman

Dear Friends,

It’s time to rally the troops and help a fallen soldier and comic book artist friend of mine. I want to make you aware of Clifford Van Meter, a Marine friend in Michigan, who is also a comic book artist/writer and non-fiction writer, as well as a galleried wildlife artist. Clifford is losing his home and, as of Friday, has just lost his job due to his medical condition(s). Like me, he also suffers from Type II Diabetes. Clifford’s write-up below was posted before he lost his job. Denise is scrambling to help him find social services and VA help, but in the meantime, please consider giving any amount — even the smallest amount to you would mean the world to him — at this page: https://www.gofundme.com/arctostor

Here is Clifford Van Meter’s story: 

I’ve been an artist and illustrator for more than 30 years now. I’ve worked…

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Volunteering for Hurricane Harvey and Hurricane Irma Clean-Up? Here’s What You’ll Need

Unfortunately, I know all too well the paralyzing fear and anxiety the folks are feeling in Florida right now, since I went through Ivan and got displaced from September 15th, 2004 to end of January 2005 (and months later, received a whopping $300 from FEMA — thanks for nothing!)

My cameraman Kenny is helping his cousin in South Florida once Hurricane Irma clean-up begins, so I put on my producer’s hat (the problem-solver’s hat) and started compiling a list for him of stuff he’ll need to drive down there with once it’s over. I may go with him, depending on my workload. It occurred to me that some of you reading this may be helping with Hurricane Harvey clean-up–or Florida clean-up–so I’m sharing this list with all of you, just in case.

3 Things You Need to Remember Whenever You Enter a Hurricane Clean-Up Zone:

#1. There are nails and broken glass on the road and in parking spaces everywhere. You will need spare tires and tire patch kits for your vehicle–you can only drive over that debris for so long before you get a flat.

#2. The air quality will NOT be good. It gets funky. Some people are affected for a very long time afterwards with skin lesions, breathing issues, etc. Have masks for breathing and wear thin, soft clothing that keeps your skin covered. Have an asthma puffer medication on hand, if you can get one. Whenever someone has a chest cold, I tend to save the half-used ones for later on.

#3. The mosquitoes will be out of control with all of that humidity, so eat your odor-free garlic pills for a week before you head down there so the mosquitoes love you a little less. Bring Avon’s Skin-So-Soft or head to Cabela’s and get yourself bug repellant with DEET. I know, I know…it’s deemed unsafe, but trust me, you will need it.

Here’s your list of supplies to drive down in your moving truck rental:

#1. Bottles of bleach for the mold. Rags, towels.

#2. Sledgehammers and crowbars to pull off the water-damaged sheetrock. You will have to strip the home’s interior down to the studs. (I know this first-hand!)

#3. 50-gallon garbage bags galore!

#4. Sheetrock, construction nails, sheetrock mud, hand-held manual sanders (since electric will be unavailable for a while), saws, hammers, saw horses, a battery-operated drill, drywall screws, gloves, 2 x 4 pieces of wood, caulk and caulk guns, rolls of insulation, duct tape, large, thick Sharpie markers, spray paint.

#5. If you’re lucky, the home you’re repairing has a natural gas generator, but most likely, it’s gasoline-generated, so bring empty gas cans for getting fuel, and lots of money because they WILL price gouge you…once fuel is available again, that is, which could be a week.

#6. Ziplock baggies — gallon-sized and sandwich-sized. They will come in handy.

#7. Brooms, dustpans and shovels. I remember the storm surge during Hurricane Ivan literally filled the first floor of the condos on Okaloosa Island with sand, from floor to ceiling. If this Hurricane Irma situation is similar (and I’m sure this happened for Harvey victims), you will be digging out debris forever before you can even start the home repairs.

#8. Pre-charged phone chargers. LOTS of them. We were lucky we had a land line in Florida, so we never lost contact with the outside world. But that was 13 years ago. Now everyone’s on cell phones, and that’s one of the disadvantages of having no land line.

#9. Tons of bottled water. As much as you can buy and pack. Also, coolers filled with ice.

#10. Pre-packaged foods that won’t go bad without refrigeration — you know, the stoner crap you’d buy at a convenience store when you’re starved and in a helluva hurry — those peanut butter crackers, granola bars, cheese crackers, etc. Also, soup and bring manual can openers. Paper plates, cups, plastic silverware (an oxymoron), also. Juice boxes are convenient if there are kids involved.

#11. In Hurricane Ivan, the ceiling crashed in on our bed and it was soaked all of the way through (and I was 8 months pregnant with Master Jack at the time) so I ended up sleeping on a blow-up floor mattress in the most God-awful, un-air-conditioned, moist, hot air. If you can hook up a fan to a generator, you will be so glad you did. Those blow-up mattresses are wonderful — about $50 — buy up one for every person in the home you’re renovating. Pillows & blankets, too.

#12. The anti-gun folks among us won’t appreciate my next comment, but looters are a serious problem.  Don’t judge until you’ve been through a fucking hurricane, assholes. When your possessions and family are at risk, you’ll wish you had one. The only thing that deters looters is knowing you have a weapon, and you’re unafraid to use it. Hearing warning shots in our neighborhood, post-Hurricane Ivan, wasn’t uncommon.  I hope there’s a special, more torturous hell for those who prey on the vulnerable (including those price-gouging gas stations).

#13. First-Aid kits – Band-Aids, plenty of peroxide, Cortisone cream, Triple Antibiotic Cream, Bactine, rubbing alcohol, disinfectant / hand sanitizers. Also, bring pain relievers, ace bandages, and tweezers (lots of slivers will occur when you’re working with wood, even if you’re wearing gloves).

#14. You’ll want tons of wet wipes/butt wipes and dry/spray shampoo for your hair. Personal hygiene will be at a bare minimum for a while, so at least try being odor-agnostic to be around. Depending on your bathroom situation, toilet paper may not make sense, but ziplock baggies and wet wipes will be a good alternative. You will likely need to bring a porta-potty (like the kind in any camper).

If anyone has additional items to add to the list, speak up — I’m just brain storming as I’m writing this, so I may overlook the obvious.

 

 

 

Please Join Me in the #HurricaneHarveyRelief Fundraiser at Dark Delicacies Tonight

Please help with #HurricaneHarveyRelief and spread the word about tonight’s fundraiser online via Facebook Live at https://facebook.com/KaseyLansdaleFans/ – some of your favorite creators like George R.R. Martin (Game of Thrones) Joe R. Lansdale (Bubba Hotep, Hap & Leonard Series) and Dave Dorman (#1 Star Wars Artist) will be offering items for sale!

Dave Dorman

Dear Friends,

The horror community has once again stepped up in a big way, and Dark Delicacies in Burbank is working with singer/songwriter Kasey Lansdale on tonight’s fundraiser for Hurricane Harvey survivors. Please consider bidding on my long out-of-print STAR WARS: THE ART OF DAVE DORMAN book, with a hand-painted Boba Fett inside the title page of the book. The book is also autographed by me. Images taken from my drawing table, so forgive the bent nature of the photos:

Dave Dorman hand-painted Boba Fett on the title page inside of the book.

Also participating in the fundraiser are NY Times bestselling authors Joe R. Lansdale, Game of Thrones creator/author George R.R. Martin and many more. Whatever your interest, you’ll find it in tonight’s auction, which Kasey is moderating on her Facebook Page via Facebook Live. Here are the important links for you:

Be here at 7 PM California…

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An Author You’ll Wanna Know (If You Don’t Already): F. Paul Wilson

If you’ve never read author F. Paul Wilson, I hope by sharing his most recent newsletter below, you’ll click on a few links and start paying closer attention to him. In his other life outside of writing, he’s a semi-retired medical doctor in New Jersey. F. Paul Wilson is amazing, prolific, gracious to his fans (including this one) and I love his writing. Even Stephen King, my favorite author of all time in the horror genre, deems himself “President of the Repairman Jack Fan Club,” which is one of F. Paul Wilson’s many series. (I often wish Bruce Willis had starred as Repairman Jack, back in his 30s. It would’ve been perfect casting. It’s who I picture when I read Repairman Jack stories.) Without further adieu, here’s the F. Paul Wilson Newsletter! 

THE REPAIRMAN JACK NOVELS

“Jack’s saga has become the most entertaining and dependable modern horror-thriller series.” (Publishers Weekly)

“One of the most consistently entertaining series in modern fantastic fiction.” (Publishers Weekly)

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I’m on Twitter (@fpaulwilson) and Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/fpaul.wilson)

NEW!

PANACEA paperback! It’s here! It’s cheap! Get it!

EPHEMERATAThe Odds and Ends of a Writing Life. 120k words of ephemera I’ve written and published (or not) over the decades. Available in ebook only for the time being. (I explain why in the Author’s Note which you can read by clicking “Look Inside” on the Amazon page.)

After a commercial break we’ll get to the usual tedious tidbits, trivialities, and miscellanies since last we met:

BECAUSE YOU ASKED FOR IT: a signed limited edition of PANACEA is on the way. Preorder here: http://tinyurl.com/hc66thw

***BECAUSE YOU ASKED FOR IT – Part Deux: a paper edition of Sex Slaves of the Dragon Tong

FAMILY SECRETS (sequel to DEFINITELY NOT KANSAS) is an ebook at last: http://tinyurl.com/jjlv7gm

FREEBIES!!! (new free story added)

SCENES FROM THE SECRET HISTORY OF THE WORLD

“Demonsong” – Glaeken and Rasalom’s first meeting

“Lipidleggin'” – started off as an SF story, now it’s non-fiction.

OTHER STUFF

****THE ISHER BOOK SHOP IS OPEN: http://www.repairmanjack.com/store/

*****E-BOOK BONANZA!!! GET THEM WHILE SUPPLIES LAST!!!!
(Oh, wait . . . you never run out of ebooks, do you. Ignore that last part)
Browse a ton o’ titles – some free, many just $3.99: http://tinyurl.com/jjygskx

******************************************************************************************************************

1) OCCURRENCES
2) THE LATEST FICTION
3) IN THE PIPELINE
4) PUBLISHING SCHEDULE 2016
5) FOR COLLECTORS
6) “REPAIRMAN JACK” – THE MOVIE
7) WHERE I’LL BE
8) REPAIRMAN JACK STORE
9) FF MOVIE REVIEWS

1) OCCURRENCES

8/1 – ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.
Sounds like the Mexican version of Dorothy Parker’s martini poem.

8/4 – Just getting back to speed on the WiP post-Nantucket when 1st-pass page proofs of THE GOD GENE arrive. Ah, well…

8/6 – If you’re not following the Bloom County Facebook page, you’re missing an American humorist and artist at the peak of his powers.

8/8 – RiP Glen Campbell. What a career — from the Wrecking Crew to his own TV show to films, and a zillion hits along the way.

8/13 – With a little help from a good friend, the 1st-pass proofs of THE GOD GENE are done and will be on their way back to the publisher tomorrow.

8/16 – GODZILLA anime. Nice chiaroscuro effects – I don’t usually see that in anime (but I don’t see much anime)   http://tinyurl.com/y7kk8nu3

8/17-20 – at Necronomicon in Providence.  All Lovecraft all the time (except for a little Robert E. Howard)

8/21 – In typical Jersey Shore perversity, the sky stayed nice and clear until just before the eclipse was to begin. Then the clouds rolled in…and stayed until just after the eclipse was done. Sheesh!

8/24 – I’m guessing that my “Sex Slaves of the Dragon Tong” will not be a big seller in Beijing.  http://tinyurl.com/y7ygudvd

8/25 – Alcohol Again Tied to Lower Death Risk — but don’t forget the J-curve.   http://tinyurl.com/y766ljtn

8/26 – Best horror flick title this year: “Eat Locals.”

8/29 – Goodbye, Columbus? You know, I’m as fed up as the next guy with these grandstanding PC clowns, but for some reason, this doesn’t bother me. Ay-tall. I’ve always thought Columbus Day stupid (except when it netted me a day off from school). He didn’t “discover” a damn thing, and he landed in the Bahamas thinking he was in India or China or wherever. AND he was sent by the royal a-holes who started the Spanish Inquisition. So Goodbye, Columbus. http://tinyurl.com/ya9cyzja

8/30 – now THIS is scary!  http://tinyurl.com/yckkyo3v

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2) THE LATEST FICTION:

EPHEMERATA has bits of fiction in it, but is mostly non-fiction. Over 100 short pieces of this and that.

PANACEA is my latest novel – about a hunt for the legendary cure-all. No, it’s not Repairman Jack, but if you liked the Jack novels, you’ll like this. There’s a little bit of Jack in Rick Hayden (I couldn’t help it) and Panacea fits into the Secret History. I mean, what’s not to like? Now in paperback

FAMILY SECRETS, the 2nd Nocturnia novel (sequel to DEFINITELY NOT KANSAS), is available in a signed, limited edition from http://tinyurl.com/l4jw8o3 and in ebook form: http://tinyurl.com/jjlv7gm

DEFINITELY NOT KANSAS
ebook: Kindle: http://tinyurl.com/odcge7x
Nook: http://tinyurl.com/myvoolr
Trade paperback: http://tinyurl.com/nmavxma (NB: purchase of the tpb nets you a free copy of the ebook)
SIGNED COPIES: http://tinyurl.com/kvzrpk9
the signed limited collector’s edition of DEFINITELY NOT KANSAS is just about sold out – http://tinyurl.com/l4p4zfr

THE HOGBEN CHRONICLES – I coedited this collection of Henry Kuttner’s wonderful stories about a mutant hillbilly family – first time together in the same volume. SIGNED by Neil Gaiman (who did the intro) and yrs trly.http://tinyurl.com/nf2kmgs
HOGBEN EBOOK – finally THE HOGBEN CHRONICLES (wonderful stories by Henry Kuttner, illos and all) is available as a Kindle ebook for $2.99: http://tinyurl.com/lg936xo

Fix” – a novella-length Repairman Jack mashup with Codename Chandler:

Wayward Pines was the #1 scripted show on TV in 2015. Have you read “The Widow Lindley,” my Wayward Pines story?

FEAR CITY
The paperback here
In case you missed the book trailer: http://tinyurl.com/n8dsxzk

A stand-alone edition of “Infernal Night” co-starring Jack (written with Heather Graham) http://tinyurl.com/k8yuush

The Dead World” – my Burroughs pastiche set in Pellucidar with a fabulous Bradley W. Schenck cover – is available as a single.

“The Compendium of Srem” ebook: http://tinyurl.com/pqvxn2b

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3) IN THE PIPELINE

THE SILENT ONES – the 3rd and final Nocturnia novel in limited signed 1st edition

PANACEA – a signed limited edition. Preorder here: http://tinyurl.com/hc66thw

THE GOD GENE – December 2017

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4) PUBLISHING SCHEDULE – 2017

FAMILY SECRETS – the 2nd Nocturnia novel in paperback

a signed limited edition of PANACEA

THE SILENT ONES – the 3rd and final Nocturnia novel in limited signed 1st edition

THE GOD GENE (sequel to PANACEA) in December

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5) FOR COLLECTORS:

FAMILY SECRETS at http://tinyurl.com/q3joxts

DEFINITELY NOT KANSAS at http://www.gauntletpress.com/

THE HOGBEN CHRONICLES (editor) http://tinyurl.com/nf2kmgs

The Borderlands Press ADVERSARY CYCLE:
THE KEEP, THE TOUCH, RAKOSHI (formerly THE TOMB), REBORN, REPRISAL, and NIGHTWORLD are all available in signed limited editions. This is a unique and beautiful set, and will be even more so when inserted into the über slipcase with its wraparound art. Check out the spine art at: http://www.borderlandspress.com/adversary.html

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6) “REPAIRMAN JACK” – THE MOVIE . . . wait – THE TV SHOW . . . wait . . .

[Historical note: Years ago I sold film/TV rights to THE TOMB to Beacon Films. The idea has been to title the film “Repairman Jack” and turn our guy into a franchise character. The project has spent 20 years in development hell, chewing up 6 or 7 writers who’ve churned out reams of scripts.

We’re looking toward TV now. Can’t say any more because I don’t know any more.

***************************************************

7) WHERE I’LL BE AT (yeah, I rite good)

Thrillerfest – July 12-15 – NYC

Necronomicon – Providence, RI – August 17-20

H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival – October 6-8 – Portland, OR – Guest of Honor

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8) REPAIRMAN JACK STORE

It has stuff with a neato-cool RJ logo on everything from T-shirts to caps to coffee cups to a wonderful poster by Susan Lee. (Even thongs!)

For you SF nuts and fans of my LaNague Federation series, Susan and Lisa have added a new line at the Repairman Jack store: the LaNague Federation logo on front and “KYFHO” on the back. [For those unfamiliar with the term, I invented the acronym way back when for AN ENEMY OF THE STATE and now it pops up everywhere. Google it if you can’t guess the meaning.]

And now, by popular demand from you gun nuts and fans of Abe Grossman, ISHER SPORTS SHOP shirts and stuff are available. A design by the inimitable Susan Lee with a clever logo created by members of the website’s Forum. Check it out. http://www.cafepress.com/repairmanjack/

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9) FF MOVIE REVIEWS

The FF Rating system is gauged by use of the FF button in increments of 10% of running time. If I FF through a tenth of the film (i.e., 9 minutes of a 90-min film), its FF Rating is 1. Thus, the lower the FF Rating, the higher my level of engagement. (Note, I didn’t say the better the film. Crap can – and often does – engage me.) FF = 5 is the threshold of unwatchable.

Bail Factor: If you turn off a film at the halfway point, that’s an automatic 5. If you bail after only a quarter or so, that’s an automatic 7.5. Then you add how much FFing you did before shutdown.

Why should you care what I think of a film? Beats me.

Movie plot summaries abound on the web, so you don’t need me for that.

NB: I’ve now collected all my FF reviews (I was shocked at the hundreds of reviews I’ve done) in one spot: http://fpaul.wordpress.com/about/

Only 1 movie this month. Been watching HINTERLAND, a very dark police show from Wales. I’m on season 3 now.  The episodes run 90 minutes, so it’s like watching a theatrical film each time. I’ve been watching one episode a night and I’m wondering: Is there a cop on a drama (not a comedy) dumber than DCI Mathias?  He consistently acts on impulse (instead, say, waiting for backup), blundering into bad situations and making them worse. Makes you wonder how he made DCI in the first place. Yes, I know he’s fictional, and I know it’s the writers’ doing to add complications — and running time — to the show, but it’s hard to respect a character when you repeatedly find yourself saying, “Aw, no…he’s not really gonna…yes, he is. He’s doing it again!” I’m staying with it because the rest of the cast is well drawn and for the evolving backstory of high-level corruption.

GIFTED
An intriguing film about how to treat the truly gifted among us. Little McKenna Grace does a star turn as the 7-year-old math genius. Her grandmother wants her to realize her full potential via tutors and the uncle who’s raising her doesn’t want her to grow up isolated like her mother (who committed suicide). A great cast but you will fall for McKenna Grace like you fell for little Dakota Fanning.
FF=0

Well, that’s it for now. I’ve taken up enough of your time. More next month. Back to work.

F. Paul Wilson

fpw@repairmanjack.com

http://www.repairmanjack.com

Please Support My Kickstarter Campaign for My WASTED LANDS Creator-Owned Series

Check out Dave Dorman’s new Kickstarter Campaign! Support your creator-owned, small business owner!

Dave Dorman

Dear Friends,

In 2001, I released RAIL: BROKEN THINGS, A Tale of the Wasted Lands through Image Comics. That sold 20,000 copies. Since that time, I waited until I owned my intellectual property outright again to create new content. So here I am. My new Kickstarter Campaign is launching my take on pulp fiction magazines in the 2000s with AMAZING TALES OF THE WASTED LANDS. Each issue will feel like it’s lifted straight out of the dystopian Western world I’ve created…a world filled with quirky, memorable characters, adrenaline-pumping action, adventure, drama, romance, violence, horror and fantasy. Please consider supporting my quest and sharing my Kickstarter campaign with those you know who would enjoy continuing the tradition of great westerns (with a little sci-fi, fantasy and horror mixed in). Here’s the link:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mikebawden/amazing-tales-of-the-wasted-lands-inaugural-issue

Dave Dorman’s Character Design, a LIGHT ANGEL from the IRON WARS, WASTED LANDS

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Top 10 List: How to Know You’re An Old Pro at San Diego Comic-Con Fandom

An SDCC 2017 attendee friend and I were chatting on the back channels of Facebook today. He shared this photo with me of the SyFy Channel’s sign, boldly listing “true SDCC fandom” characteristics. We were having a good laugh about how we would write this list. Can you pass our sniff test? I’ll bet those of you reading this will have some great additions to our list–feel free to chime in and share!

And speaking of SDCC 2017, I hope you got a chance to check out Dave Dorman’s new creator-owned WASTED LANDS novella and his AMAZING TALES OF THE WASTED LANDS pulp fiction magazine Kickstarter campaign! Here’s your handy link: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mikebawden/amazing-tales-of-the-wasted-lands-inaugural-issue?ref=thanks_tweet

Are YOU a Pro at the Con? But can you meet MY criteria?

You Pass the SDCC Old Pro Fandom Sniff Test If…

  1. You can pronounce Bill Sienkiewicz’s last name correctly.
  2. You can correctly identify the actual creator–and for bonus points, the publisher–of the character you’re cosplaying.
  3. You attended SDCC back when the signage all over San Diego still said “Celebrating the Comic Arts.”
  4. You know why Ralph McQuarrie matters to the Star Wars universe.
  5. Creators know your name without even looking at your badge.
  6. You don’t drink a drop of liquid for 12 hours before you see a panel in Hall H. Also, you bring gum and a snack.
  7. You know 501st isn’t a style of Levis, but the world’s largest cosplay organization.
  8. You carry extra Sharpies in black and silver, in case the artists’ Sharpies go dry.
  9. You know where to find your favorite booths without relying on the guide book.
  10. You attended Preview Night when it was still exclusive to pros.

 

LennyMud: The New Jersey Ceramics and Pottery Maker Who Shares My Sense of Humor

My friend Lisa’s birthday is today. Lisa is a delightful 2017 addition to what Marovich calls my “collection” of people. Together, we’re the mash-up, “D’Nisa.” While Lisa has many stellar qualities, I especially treasure her word play skills–par excellence. Her comment about the Christopher Walken Closet the other day had me dying. Lisa is one of the few friends who loves the Bob’s Burger intros and Burger of the Day titles as much as I do. Some make me hyperventilate in giggles. Just as with my bff since kindergarten, Darlene, or my bff since 7th grade, Marovich, Lisa is a joy to shop for–I just buy what I love, and I know they’ll love it, too (the exception being that with Marovich, lipstick shopping is officially OFF the table. Don’t ask.) So I was browsing online for Lisa’s birthday gifts and discovered this hilarious ceramics and pottery maker called Lennymud in New Jersey. If I made ceramics, this is exactly the stuff I would create. And then I read the owner’s bio. Now I want to be president of her fan club. (Weird coincidence — I may have called Jack “The Spawn” before.)

ABOUT LENNYMUD

Lenny is the name of my studio cat. I make the pots and Lenny breaks them: this way I never run out of shelf space.

Lenny is not for sale. Probably not.

I know my shop name makes me sound like a 50 year old man who smokes cigars, but I am a female who is sometimes told that she looks ten years younger than her real age. (My husband says the nicest things in the dark. When he’s drunk.) I am the mother to two, adorable children that I like to call The Spawn.

I like to make stuff. Sometimes I like to work with clay and other days I like to draw or paint. I work a busy day job– my Etsy shop lennymud.etsy.com is a hobby or perhaps a midlife crisis. You are invited to stalk me on my facebook fan page here http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lennymud/179831098733257
or follow me at Twitter: LennyMud.

And yes, it’s ok if you call me Lenny.

Based solely on @LennyMud’s artisan output, she is just the sort of person D’Nisa would hang with, if she only lived closer. Here’s what I mean:

The Lionel Cheese Platter! Perfect for your next AA meeting!

For me, tea is just a beverage masquerading as lame coffee, but this mug could make me like it…

I mean, seriously. Who DOESN’T need this teapot?

 

That Poop Scene in Last Night’s Game of Thrones

If ever there was an occasion to bleach my eyeballs, it was last night.

Michael Ende created The Never-Ending Story. George R.R. Martin created The Never-Ending Poop Scene. My God, could last night’s premiere episode of HBO’s “Game of Thrones” been any more painful to watch?* After the first 15 comparisons between the bedpans filled with runny poop and the slop food, I felt that the viewer more than “got the message.” Beyond that, it felt like I had sprained an ankle and someone was pressing their boot down as hard as they could, for as long as they could, into my injury. Only the never-ending puke scene from Monty Python’s Meaning of Life approached that level of ad nauseam.

*I thought the rest of last night’s episode was really solid (unlike what was in those bedpans), especially the exchange between the redheaded wilding, who is my Groundskeeper Willie fantasy in human form, and Breanne.

I think it would be brilliant for the actor who plays Sam–who will surely be on the convention circuit signing autographs any moment–to wear this shirt commemorating last evening’s shit show:

A t-shirt for Sam’s autograph signings…