Talking TAKIs

In an emergency grocery store run this a.m. since we were out of eggs on Dave’s birthday (D’oh!), Dave Dorman made the mistake of taking Jack, which always means a 40% higher bill at the checkout line. In addition to the eight taffy apples and chocolate chip Lego waffles they returned with (NOT on the list), Jack procured this:

Guacamole TAKIs, meant to be savored, just not smelled.

For those of you who have never partaken in TAKIs, you’re not alone. They appeared on my radar about six months ago. They’re the rage of this YouTube generation — a super-compressed taco chip, saturated in flavor dust, shaped like a rolled Dorito doobie–by design, I’m sure. This morning, Jack couldn’t find his regular-flavored TAKIs, so he brought home the guacamole flavor. In theory, it sounds good, but…Jack opened the bag and we each took turns taking a whiff. It took a leviathan amount of cajoling to convince Dave to join in, but he eventually caved because Jack has the master persuasion skills of a Harvard law professor. Here are the Dorman Family’s Top 4 Guacamole-Flavored TAKI Smell Descriptions.

(Your results may vary.)

  1. Rotting corn field (Dave)
  2. Lawn Clippings-flavored Jelly Belly (Jack)
  3. Dead Bugs on the Windshield (Denise)
  4. Dead Box Elder or Lightning Bugs (also Denise)

Despite the funky smell, they actually tasted pretty good, but Jack still favors the original flavor. I favor the “original,” too…as in: DORITOS.

For fans of Stephen King’s IT and Pennywise the Clown, Dave did a pencil illustration of Pennywise the Clown yesterday on Facebook Live. Here’s a link to that footage for your viewing pleasure:

https://www.facebook.com/DaveDormanArtist/videos/10159276116220063/

You’ll hear Dave responding to questions posted by those watching him, which is often enlightening commentary about comics, entertainment and publishing. If you do a search, he’s done several other demonstration painting and illustration art videos that have been well received — follow him on Twitter @DaveDorman and you’ll see him post links to those videos as they occur.

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That Controversial Dave Dorman SAGA Blog? Yeah…That Was Actually Written By ME. Not Dave.

I get the alerts whenever Dave’s name is mentioned online, so when I read this morning that some woman blogger in Ireland wanted to “punch Dave Dorman in the face” for his blog on that breastfeeding SAGA cover, that was my final tipping point. So unbeknownst to Dave, I’m giving him an early Father’s Day gift. I’m posting this blog to end Dave falling on the sword for me, even one moment longer. For those of a certain age who remember that broken vase confessional on The Brady Bunch:

“Mom? Dad? It was me. I broke the vase.”

Yes. I wrote that controversial SAGA blog of Dave’s. And Dave, being the gentleman that he is, chastised me privately, but has forever remained silent about it publicly, despite the unfair ridicule and scrutiny he’s taken for it. He took the knives to his back from the all-too-quick-to-eats-its-own-young comic book industry to protect and defend me. But today, that cat’s outta the bag.

Dave is probably one of the nicest, kindest, most patient people you’d ever want to meet. I have 18 years’ worth of anecdotes to support my statement. So do many of you. Here’s one. When we were living in Florida, the local comic book shop gave out our private address to a budding artist who wanted to get into comics and was working full time as an engineer. The doorbell rang around lunchtime. We weren’t expecting guests, and this guy in khakis and a pocket protector, a total stranger, showed up on our front porch with his portfolio. Did Dave get mad? No. (I did. I felt our safety and privacy was violated and I let the comic book shop know my displeasure.) Dave generously invited him in and spent the next 45 minutes reviewing his portfolio and coaching him on his art. So, that small story encapsulates Dave in a nutshell. He’s always trying to help others get into art.

Here’s what actually went down that fateful day of the SAGA blog. Normally, Dave sits at the kitchen table and I whip out the MacBook Air and he gives me the essence of what he wants to say in his blog, then I write and refine it for the masses. He tends to write in passive voice, which drives me crazy. On that particular day, my ADD got in the way, pre-ADD meds. (To be fair, Dave does have this tone of voice that can sort of lull one into daydreaming mode.) I wasn’t paying close enough attention to the very nuanced way in which he was commenting on said cover. To this day, I don’t remember what he actually said because I zoned out. I was rushed, I couldn’t recall his exact quotes and I ended up writing my impressions of what I thought he said, but as Dave pointed out later, it bore no resemblance to what he actually said. I unwittingly unleashed an enormous, reputation-tainting train wreck. In my professional life as a journalist and ghostwriter, I record my book and article interviews and never make this mistake.

To take that old blog to the point of perpetuating some weird myth that Dave hates breastfeeders? Wow. That was troll cognitive dissonance taken to a new level of insanity. Yet those are the search engine terms that come up when you do a search on Dave’s name. All because of a mistake I made. It’s sad. I regret it every day. (I’m sure the former AT&T CEO Dave Dorman doesn’t much appreciate it, either.)

Rarely have I known a male illustrator who wants more women to have successful careers in comics and supports them more than Dave Dorman. He was first in line to see Wonder Woman before I did (and he loved it). He couldn’t wait! He has coached and mentored and supported women illustrators and writers for years. He respects women. All of those women who have gotten his free coaching and portfolio reviews at every Con for years? Crickets. They were sadly silent on the matter. No one came to his defense and defied the trolls, who were happily, busily framing Dave as a misogynist when NOTHING could be further from the truth. This one ugly controversy that I caused suddenly overrode much of the good he has done in the world. So there you have it. I’ve come clean. I needed to end this mistruth and injustice, once and for all. Now I’m sure there will be some trolls who say I’m just making this up. I’m not. I swear on our son’s young life this is the unvarnished truth, and I’m rather superstitious, so I don’t throw around phrases like that lightly.

Before the trolls out there release the Kraken, because I just know that bullshit is forthcoming, please know that I DO.NOT.GIVE.A.SHIT. about trolls’ opinions on this matter. And trolls, I already think you’re low-life, loser misogynists (and that includes women trolls as well) living in your parents’ basement, so don’t fuel me with further evidence. In fact, I’m shutting off comments on my blog for today as a pre-emptive strike.

To that woman “keyboard warrior” in Ireland, I’ll be only too happy to meet you in the boxing ring. Your ugly, violence-inciting hatefulness from behind the safe glow of your laptop is precisely what is wrong with this world.

 

 

Dave Dorman Gets a CLUE — His Art on Milton Bradley’s New Alien vs. Predator Edition of CLUE Game

I posted this image on Facebook today, and got several back channel messages about “How much did Dave make on this deal?” The answer? Zilch. Nada. Zero dinero. It was a work-for-hire deal for 20th Century Fox, so they can repurpose this image however they so choose. In fact, Dave had to buy his own game sample for his file, since Milton Bradley didn’t send him one. It was initially $40, but thankfully Dave forgot about it, and the post-Christmas price dropped down to $13, so he just bought it on Amazon. Hopefully this has dispelled the notion out there that if you (or your artwork) is famous, you’re wealthy because of it.

Dave Gets a CLUE!

 

See Jack. See Jack Draw. Draw, Jack, Draw!

Once people realize that Dave has a son, Dave’s often asked if Jack can draw. The short answer is “Yes, when he feels like it.” Nothing gets me more aggravated than when Jack half-assed rushes through creating a greeting card for his teacher or his Grandma, because I know what he’s been capable of since an early age. He can draw from his head, just like Dave, whereas I must have reference of some kind. Jack can draw varied perspectives and angles and even though they’re simple drawings, they’re very complex. Here’s a recent piece he just did that I found crumpled up in his backpack.

Graphite Dogs by Jack - Blue Dog article Rodrigue better watch his back...!

Graphite Dogs by Jack – Blue Dog art resellers better watch their backs…! Competition is coming…

And had I not witnessed this with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it, but Jack drew this from his head, with no reference, at age 6.

Cosmo from "Fairly Odd Parents" as done by Jack at age 6.

Cosmo from “Fairly Odd Parents” as drawn by Jack at age 6, out of his head, with no photo reference in sight.

And here’s Jack’s piece de resistance, which still makes me laugh. I remember I was so proud of Jack’s little pre-school drawing. All of my friends–plus Dave–thought it was hilarious that I (of all people) didn’t notice the phallic aesthetic to this piece. My practical joker friend Nancy (do I have any other category of friends?) asked to borrow the piece, on the premise of showing it to her daughters. I was so proud of it, I loaned it to her without question. The next thing I knew, I was the recipient of a glass cutting board made of Jack’s phallic art, as seen below. It remains one of my most prized possessions – that piece I’d grab to save as I ran out the door if, God forbid, the house were ever on fire.

"The Angry Pecker" by Jack Dorman, age 3.

“The Angry Pecker” by Jack Dorman, age 3.

I was razzing Dave the other day that I sold my first piece of art at an earlier age than he did, and then Jack inserted that he had us both beat – he convinced some kind stranger to buy his art at Star Wars Celebration for $10 when he was merely 6 years old. I reminded Jack that it was a pity sale, but he stood his ground in the debate.

I hope the kind stranger held onto it. It could be worth something someday…

The Blessing and the Curse of Work-for-Hire Illustration

File this under: “The Artist is always the last to know.” One of Dave’s fans just posted on Facebook that Dave’s artwork is on a free puzzle inside of Star Wars lunch boxes now for sale at Walgreen’s:

Dave Dorman artwork on puzzle inside of Star Wars lunch boxes, now in retail stores

Dave Dorman artwork on puzzle inside of Star Wars lunch boxes, now in retail stores

And here’s the original art from that free puzzle:

Dave Dorman's Star Wars "Smugglers Moon" Original Art

Dave Dorman’s Star Wars “Smugglers Moon” Original Art 

And by the way, if you’re interested in purchasing this piece as an Artist Proof litho, it’s $75 here: http://www.davedorman.com/swprintsforsale.shtml )

Dave’s Star Wars art is also on a few graphic tees selling at your local Targets and Wal-Marts at the moment, and we’ll probably see a lot more of it on random products as the new Star Wars VII film ramps up its marketing engine. The fans are always astounded when Dave shows surprise that they’re wearing his art. What people outside of the illustration world don’t realize is, the artist is never told where or when his art will appear. (This was especially true when the “Predalien” concept art Dave did years ago for 20th Century Fox as a work-for-hire surfaced in the AVP2 film, uncredited, which totally sucked.) Licensed art is merely a work-for-hire arrangement. I hate to burst everyone’s bubble, but we’re not rolling in dough from Star Wars art, Alien art, or any licensed artwork, for that matter. That’s why it’s so mission critical for artists out there to develop their own creator-owned projects, also known as I.P.’s or “Intellectual Properties,” which Dave has done with THE WASTED LANDS. It’s the only way artists will ever see wealth.

Once the art is submitted to the art director, the only money we make on it other than the commission is when Dave sells the original art. In the case of Star Wars or any Lucasfilm pieces Dave does, George Lucas has automatic first right of refusal to purchase any of Dave’s art, and he owns more than 90 original Dave Dorman oil paintings. (This is why when artists paint digitally, we scratch our heads, wondering how they eke out a living, since they have no original art to sell to collectors once the piece is submitted.) Artwork that has been published–be it on packaging art or a magazine cover–is always worth more to the art collector.

So, what is the blessing, if any, of work-for-hire illustration? The only silver lining to this cloud is that if you’re an artist doing work-for-hire work, it likely means you’re a self-employed solopreneur, and you’re probably leading a much happier life than you would be working for “the man.” You can go the movies at 1 p.m. on a Thursday and not wait in line. Your dry cleaning bills are non-existent. You’re saving money on fuel, lunches out, and let’s not forget all of those glorious tax write-offs!

I recently had the epiphany that we lead weird little lives here at the Dorman household. (I know, I know…all of my inner circle of friends out there are doing the face palm and calling me Captain Obvious as they read this.) So the epiphany happened the day Jack and I were back-to-school underwear shopping in our local Target. As we stood there debating whether to buy the Batman underwear with John vanFleet’s Batman packaging art vs. another friend’s Batman underwear art, I realized it.  The rest of the world would never give this a moment’s thought. To us, the artists–and the art they create–is so precious, so important…and we behold it with such reverence. Even if it’s on a frickin’ underwear package at Target.

So smash cut to breakfast at San Diego Comic-Con with John vanFleet. I shared my Batman underwear narrative, and John was amazed to learn that his Batman art was so dangerously close to 10-year-olds’ skid marks across America. Like I told you, the Artist is always the last to know.