If ever there was an occasion to bleach my eyeballs, it was last night.
Michael Ende created The Never-Ending Story. George R.R. Martin created The Never-Ending Poop Scene. My God, could last night’s premiere episode of HBO’s “Game of Thrones” been any more painful to watch?* After the first 15 comparisons between the bedpans filled with runny poop and the slop food, I felt that the viewer more than “got the message.” Beyond that, it felt like I had sprained an ankle and someone was pressing their boot down as hard as they could, for as long as they could, into my injury. Only the never-ending puke scene from Monty Python’s Meaning of Life approached that level of ad nauseam.
*I thought the rest of last night’s episode was really solid (unlike what was in those bedpans), especially the exchange between the redheaded wilding, who is my Groundskeeper Willie fantasy in human form, and Breanne.
I think it would be brilliant for the actor who plays Sam–who will surely be on the convention circuit signing autographs any moment–to wear this shirt commemorating last evening’s shit show:
A t-shirt for Sam’s autograph signings…
I’ve given myself a week to recover and seriously consider this, but on this Halloween day, my decision remains the same. I’m divorcing the The Walking Dead. Done. Game over, man.
The first episode of this season crossed a line for me, coming waytooclose to torture porn for my comfort level. It’s still making me sick to my stomach, a week later. I wish I could unsee that which can’t be unseen — Glenn’s all-too-graphic death. It’s still playing in my head. I was disturbed by one of the past season’s episodes, the one where Laurie gave herself her own c-section, and The Governor was combing his zombie daughter’s degrading scalp as it fell apart in his hands, but this first Negin episode was my horror cup runneth over. I’m content to simply read the recaps online and not watch it anymore.
And while I’m talking Walking Dead, I have to be honest. Fear the Walking Dead, the west coast version of Walking Dead, has never measured up for me to the original series. I wanted it to. There are few places in the world I love more than the west coast. I thought it would make an interesting, fresh retelling of the story. I just could never get as emotionally invested in those characters — the protagonist mother and daughter mostly just irritated me. Perhaps it’s because the mother reminded me too much of Katie Couric, who also irritates the shit out of me. In the final analysis, I’d rather be watching Westworld or Preacher.
Pretty much sums up Episode 1.
With all of the anxiety over my beloved CUBS winning the first World Series in 108 years, and the current political landscape, my entertainment shouldn’t be amping up my stress. Maybe I need to immerse myself in some Bob’s Burgers binge watching. In the interest of adding some levity to this weird confluence of stress ball events, here are some memes that have made me laugh over the last day:
Oh pleaseOh pleaseOh please…! GO CUBS!
HBO’s THE LEFTOVERS
Last night Dave and I decided to give HBO’s new offering The Leftovers a try. We typically enjoy Damon Lindelof’s work, so we were geeked for some great TV. Episode 1 sets the stage where a large percentage of the population just instantaneously disappears one day. Poof! Gone! Is it the rapture? Alien abductions? I Dream of Jeannie Syndrome? We are left wondering the origin as the story advances to three years later, and life is a bizarre combination of orderly civilian living–trains still run on time, electricity is still on, and food and drugs are still plentiful–and pockets of anarchy. A mysterious, mute, chain-smoking cult clad in white keeps dog-eared records on the living, targeting and intimidating various civilians, and seems to be recruiting or preying on the vulnerable. In short, life has turned to shit.
Dave and I are giving it two more episodes before committing to continue watching or cutting bait. So far, we’ve found no sympathetic characters to root for, and we’re already depressed enough after the endless, dystopian TV journey that is The Walking Dead. If anyone following me has seen The Leftovers, I’d love to hear your take on it. If they do a panel at San Diego Comic-Con, I’ll probably check it out…that is, if it isn’t in the dreaded Hall H!
So, which TV shows are you all watching this summer? What has you engrossed? I’ll post your suggestions here.