Got Hollywood Sanctimony Fatigue Yet? Just Wait.

I’m a far-removed creative in the Midwest, so when even I have heard about Weinstein’s smarmy exploits, I cannot and will not buy it that others in the industry have not, also. For one thing, women talk. We have a stealthy sisterhood warning system. It goes something like this: We get up from the table at the restaurant, go the restroom in pairs and compare notes. “Don’t ever get alone with that guy,” or “I’ve heard he only likes it (insert the most disgusting, kinky fetish here).” And from there, we phone or text our separate tribes. And that’s how word spreads. If someone’s husband or boyfriend is skeevy, trust me, he’s fooling no one. We already know it.

I feel anger and compassion for every one of those women — and men — and underage children –who were abused at the hands of powerful Hollywood moguls, but then again, I feel that way about anyone who is abused in any way by someone in power. The difference is, the ones I know personally are left to pick up the pieces minus the SAG/AFTRA medical benefits, Hollywood paychecks, fame and gold-coast lifestyles.

This was, as Malcolm Gladwell so eloquently coined the phrase, the TIPPING POINT. In the next little while, you will see every long-repressed harassment situation splashed across the National Enquirer, TMZ and beyond. Those who wish to stay relevant will defend Weinstein, because to them, at least they’re still getting column inches. From afar, we’re witnessing the Hollywood snake eating itself.

So I’m told Mr. Weinstein has jetted off to Europe. Here’s how I imagine it went down: 

POV: We are looking over the broad shoulder of a Hollywood power broker, watching his fat, stubby, hairy fingers dialing an iPhone. The light reflects on his pinkie ring.

Cuts to: Split screen of two men talking — Weinstein on left, Sir Richard Branson on right.

Weinstein: Hey, Richard, any chance you can put me up until things cool down?

Branson: No man, you’re too hot right now. And I’m still cleaning up Neckers from the hurricane.

Weinstein: But I clearly recall Princess Diana complaining about you trying to get into her pants.

Branson: Don’t drag me into your shit storm — give Polanski a call!

Hangs up. Sausage fingers places the next call.

Weinstein: Hey Roman, wanna be roommates?

Polanski: Sure! Come on over! I’ll send a jet for you.

Weinstein: No need. Mine’s gassed up and ready to go.

Polanski: Ooh, I’ve got a fun idea! Let’s call Jeffrey Epstein and see if he can fly us both down for some entertainment…wink, wink…

Weinstein: Okay, but I don’t want Bill Clinton or Prince Andrew’s sloppy seconds…

************************************************************************

So…some friends and I were just playing the “Let’s rename Weinstein’s new company” game online. The winner? Touchbone Pictures.

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Talking TAKIs

In an emergency grocery store run this a.m. since we were out of eggs on Dave’s birthday (D’oh!), Dave Dorman made the mistake of taking Jack, which always means a 40% higher bill at the checkout line. In addition to the eight taffy apples and chocolate chip Lego waffles they returned with (NOT on the list), Jack procured this:

Guacamole TAKIs, meant to be savored, just not smelled.

For those of you who have never partaken in TAKIs, you’re not alone. They appeared on my radar about six months ago. They’re the rage of this YouTube generation — a super-compressed taco chip, saturated in flavor dust, shaped like a rolled Dorito doobie–by design, I’m sure. This morning, Jack couldn’t find his regular-flavored TAKIs, so he brought home the guacamole flavor. In theory, it sounds good, but…Jack opened the bag and we each took turns taking a whiff. It took a leviathan amount of cajoling to convince Dave to join in, but he eventually caved because Jack has the master persuasion skills of a Harvard law professor. Here are the Dorman Family’s Top 4 Guacamole-Flavored TAKI Smell Descriptions.

(Your results may vary.)

  1. Rotting corn field (Dave)
  2. Lawn Clippings-flavored Jelly Belly (Jack)
  3. Dead Bugs on the Windshield (Denise)
  4. Dead Box Elder or Lightning Bugs (also Denise)

Despite the funky smell, they actually tasted pretty good, but Jack still favors the original flavor. I favor the “original,” too…as in: DORITOS.

For fans of Stephen King’s IT and Pennywise the Clown, Dave did a pencil illustration of Pennywise the Clown yesterday on Facebook Live. Here’s a link to that footage for your viewing pleasure:

https://www.facebook.com/DaveDormanArtist/videos/10159276116220063/

You’ll hear Dave responding to questions posted by those watching him, which is often enlightening commentary about comics, entertainment and publishing. If you do a search, he’s done several other demonstration painting and illustration art videos that have been well received — follow him on Twitter @DaveDorman and you’ll see him post links to those videos as they occur.